Lets clear up this broken tongue matter

A lot of rumors are spreading concerning my broken tongue. I will finally break the silence and give my side of the story. As some of you know, George and I grew up in Ely, Minnesota. The area is just beautiful, and we still have many close friends from that part of the world. So back when I was just a crumb snatcher, I learned what many would say is a very unique vocabulary, limited to the iron range of Minnesota. Well when I was 23 years old, I promised my friend Gertrude that I would meet her at Stormin' Norman's grocery store to pick up some fresh buzzard for supper. (chicken for you non-iron rangers) Gertrude would be dropped off by her Dad, and I would give her ride back home. It was an average winter day, temps around -10 that afternoon, so a bit cool for a walk home carrying groceries. Well as I was backing out of the drive way, my back tire got caught in the plowed area of snow, and stuck I was. Well those were the days before cell phones, and no way to let my friend Gertrude know of my situation. I was stuck in good, and not getting out till my young husband George would be home from the mine. I felt so bad, unable to keep my word to my friend Gertrude. Up in the iron range, we call that breaking your tongue. But George made more out of that situation claiming I didn't know how to back out of the driveway through a little snow. But if he would have shoveled it out that morning before leaving for work there would not have been any trouble, and I never would have broke my tongue. For I have never broken it since. Thank you for listening to my side of the story.

-Mildred Wilson

I take issue with the CHP!

Please take notice below of what I found attached to my car's antenna.
If you read this closely, it says that this vehicle was parked on the FREEWAY / HIGHWAY RIGHT-OF-WAY...

Well, Mr CHP officer, you found the vehicle on BLM land, in a dirt parking area. Yes it could be seen from the freeway, but certainly not on any right-of-way. And if you would have taken a peak inside the car, you might have surmised that someone was off on a bicyle ride, as there was a bicycle pump and cooler inside the vehicle. So next time, leave my car alone. But next time, I will park farther down the dirt trail inside BLM territory.

P.S.
Hey, Monocogman. You should have been there, some fast paced dirt riding.

-Pete Falcon

How I broke my tongue

Many have been asking me how I broke my tongue. Well this is the true life story of Mildred Wilson. I want to tell my side of the story concerning the terrible incident of how I broke my tongue. Please bear with me as the memories of that terrible day continued to cause great anguish, and I am not sure how much of it I am going to be able to convey at one time.

Let me start with this.
It was a beautiful sunny day.

Oh, that is just too much for one time. Oh the memories that brings up. I will have to return to this another day.

Traction

It is all about traction when out in the dirt. Recently I came across the following description concerning a mountain bike tire -
"GRIPS BETTER THAN A 3 WEEK STARVED BOA CONSTRICTOR IN A PRE-SCHOOL PLAYGROUND AT RECESS!!! I'M CONVINCED THAT THIS TIRE HAS LITTLE MAGNETS IN IT THAT PULL TOWARDS THE EARTH'S CORE."

There you go Pants Armstrong, you can't write anything like that concerning your road tires, so give it a shot, and come ride on the dirt with Pete and I, and join in the upcoming IBPMBR, or Independent Baptist Preachers Mountain Bike Race, for those who missed the announcement.

- Monocogman

Pants returns

Yes, I am still around. Sorry to have my friends so worried. I have been doing a lot of training in the hills. New season of racing coming soon. And I do believe this would be the best place to announce our big race here in Bullhead City. Though I am not interested in this, I know Pete Falcon and Monocogman will be involved in it. (I don't ride off road) It is the Independent Baptist Preachers Mountain Bike Race, or IBPMBR for short. Some time in early May, just waiting for some preachers to sign up. So if you are a preacher, leave us some information in the comment section.
A few details concerning the race. The race starts at Monocogman's house, heads east towards Oatman. There you can get a good chocolate shake. Up over Sitgreaves pass into Golden Valley, get another chocolate shake at Sonic. Then southwest on the dirt over the ridge and come off the dirt across from the Industrial Park. Race ends there, ride across to In and Out Burger for a couple of double-doubles and another chocolate shake. Over one mile of elevation gain. Close to 100 miles of riding, though only 90 in the race, other 10 to In and Out and back to Monocogman's house. Any takers?

-Pants Armstrong